Hold That Thought: Leadership Wisdom and The Art of Communication

The right conversation at the wrong time is the wrong conversation.

-- Rafael Echeverria

Have you ever been in a conversation, wishing you had never started it? Maybe you can see you're not being effective, so you you keep talking, trying to backfill the hole you're digging. Maybe you're trying to find the right trigger to move the conversation forward, or maybe you weren't as prepared for the conversation as you thought. Maybe you just put your foot in your mouth. At some point in the conversation, you can feeling things shift from bad... to worse. You find yourself knee deep in trouble and you can't undo what you've begun.

So much for getting what you want.

The next time you have something important to say, put the listener first. Get into her shoes, and determine if now is the right time to have your conversation.

• Observe and interpret the listener's non-verbal communication. According to a study by UCLA, up to 93% of communication is nonverbal (eye contact, body language, gestures, posture, rate of breathing, rate of speech, tone of voice, etc.).
• Evaluate the listener's mood. Moods are temporary states of mind -- both positive and negative. There's no sense in having an important conversation if the listener isn't in a position to receive your message, give grounded feedback or make rational decisions.
• Look at the big picture. Is it necessary to have your conversation right now? Consider what the listener already has on her plate, at this moment and in the days ahead. Can you time your conversation with a winning announcement or another type of success?
• Evaluate your intention. Ask yourself, who benefits from what you are going to say, and why? This can help you to stay strategic, focused and clear.
  

In competitive cultures and as high achievers, it's our nature to take the bull by the horns. But, when you're ready to have "the right conversation," make sure you have "the right timing." While timing isn't everything, it's an important factor and will help you get the best possible results.