Engage in Conflict to Transform Relationships (Part 1 of 3)

This post is authored by Sue Taigman, Blue Mesa Group Coach and Consultant. It is the first in a three-part series on workplace conflict and transformative mediation.

For more than 20 years, Sue has served as an executive coach, consultant, facilitative manager and mediator for people and organizations that aspire to be best in class. As a member of the Blue Mesa Group, Sue’s results-driven approach to coaching and consulting manifests in focused leadership, career fulfillment, effective communication and conscious business practices. Click here to read her full bio.

Why Can’t We Just Make “It” Go Away?

Conflict can be difficult. When you have an incompatibility between two or more opinions, principles or interests, and when people are rooted in their own perspectives, the path to resolution is often negative and destructive. Everyone involved feels discomfort. And those who muster the courage to address the problem often have a short-term view: they just want the conflict to go away. But when you take the long-view, the interactions along the path to resolution, become the focus of any intervention. Instead of simply trying to resolve the conflict, the objective becomes strengthening the people involved and creating positive and constructive interactions.

In The Promise of Mediation, Robert Baruch Bush and Joseph Folger explain how conflict generates a sense of weakness and self-absorption, each feeling reinforcing the other in a vicious cycle that can escalate conflict. For example, when people describe their fears, anger or confusion, they often feel weak. And when they feel weak, they are self-absorbed, as evidenced by defensiveness, blame and a refusal to see other perspectives.

How can you lead people through conflict?

As a leader, you can help people gain a sense of strength by recognizing and pointing out the choices they have. This empowerment naturally leads to people becoming more open and understanding. When people feel empowered and are able to recognize other perspectives, not only will they solve problems on their own, they’ll strengthen their platform for enhanced future interactions.

Next week, we’ll take a look more closely at the four things you can do to empower people (and yourself!) in times of conflict. Thanks for reading!