April 29, 2010

KISS It: Make Yourself Heard



This post is authored by Laurie Zeligson, Blue Mesa Group Coach and Consultant. Laurie has spent 25 years helping businesses and their employees do the right thing. An experienced employment law attorney and human resources professional based out of our offices in New York, NY, Laurie consults on all types of workplace issues ranging from discrimination and harassment to ethics, compliance programs and policy development. Read her full bio, here.


When was the last time you received a legal document—a contract, mortgage, credit card agreement—and felt completely confident and at ease when you started to read it?

And the last time you read a legal document and felt completely overwhelmed?

I’m a lawyer, and I often find myself asking, Who wrote this? And why are they making it so difficult to understand? Or worse yet, what are they trying to hide? What rights are they asking me to give up? 

“Legalese” can be tedious at best and frustrating at its worst, so why communicate in a form that many people dread? It can be that some of the language tracks language in statutes and regulations: it’s easier to follow that form rather than create new language. Sometimes, the language is written by lawyers for other lawyers (even though you as the client will see it), so it may be comfortable to use language familiar to “the trade.” In many cases, though, the writer—whether she’s a lawyer or not—is probably not thinking about the needs of her audience.

When we think about it, legal communications are just like other forms of communication and should focus on style as much as content. How we communicate with others—at work, at home, in the world at large—affects how we are perceived and how our message is received. Sometimes style—be it legal, verbose, dense, heady, whatever—takes away from our purpose and desire to be understood.

We can all be better communicators by adopting the KISS method, or “Keep It Simple, Stupid.” That doesn’t mean that we “dumb down” our messages. To the contrary, we want to be respectful in our communications. It’s just when we communicate clearly and concisely, we have a better chance of getting our point across. We have a better chance of creating a closer connection with our audience, rather than creating distance. Our audience—our family, co-workers, colleagues, clients, customers, friends—will be less likely to think that we are trying to gain the upper hand or, worse, to mislead.

In the coaching context, we find that poor communications skills are at the core of most relationship breakdowns. Fear of engaging in honest, healthy dialogue, with poor or no feedback, can lead to a loss of productivity and take away from leadership abilities. When we coach managers, we try to get to the heart of the matter. We ask our clients: what are the areas that are holding them back? Where do they see an opportunity to grow, develop, or change? Many people will admit that one distinct area is in their communication with others.

KISS It Tips
Ask yourself…
  • What is it that I want to communicate? 
  • To whom do I want to communicate? 
  • What is it that I need my audience to understand? 
  • How can I do it in a way that is respectful and easy to understand? 
  • Will it create the dialogue that I am hoping for? 
The challenge for all of us—lawyers, leaders, family members, co-workers—is to focus on the KISS method: can we keep it simple? Can we manage our staff, communicate with our boards, and talk to our kids clearly and concisely? Do we feel understood? Or do we feel like our style of communication is more like the legal communications we fear?

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