Our Best Teachers...

We must abandon all hope of creating a better past.

Wise leaders learn from the past, are keenly aware of the present, and using what they know now, shape the future.

Some of our best teachers are the mistakes we make. Few of us slip-up intentionally. Yet we can spend an inordinate amount of time in regret and even remorse, and miss the valuable lesson that is right in front of us.

Tom Watson, founder of IBM epitomized the value of mistakes. His message to leaders of IBM was, “Double your rate of failure. You’re thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. It is better to aim at perfection and miss it than to aim at imperfection and hit it. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it. So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because, remember that’s where you’ll find success. On the far side.”

What have you learned today about a mistake you made yesterday? Emulate Mr. Watson by going to the far side. It might change your life.

Ethics – don’t go it alone

Ethics have been tested and violated since the beginning of time. But their importance today is paramount. It is easy to give power to the justifications and the ‘yeah buts’. Now is the time to recommit to leading from principle and ethics.

Many ethical quandaries with bad outcomes are the result of an individual’s choice to take action without asking for help. People offer abundant explanations for this, but it is rarely the wisest course of action.

A Chief Ethics Officer of a major corporation once shared her perspective with me and it has served me well over the years. In today’s complex world, the “right “ answer may not always be obvious or easy to find. Her perspective was, “When you are grappling with an ethical issue, ask for help. Seek another’s perspective, input and advice.” In a hierarchical setting, ask your managers and colleagues for help. Getting their input before you act can spare you the unpleasant experience of being alone without their support.

We are not alone and can invite the perspective of others to inform our thinking. Ultimately, we bear the responsibility for our choices and the consequences. Why should we go it alone when there are resources available? We may not like their answers initially, but it is likely that we will come to a better decision if we count on others rather than going it alone.

In addition to other people, there are other resources that are easily accessible. As coaches, we belong to the International Coach Federation (ICF). The ICF publishes the ethical guidelines for coaches. We rely on these and refer to them whenever an ethical question emerges.

Is it time to reflect on the resources available to you so you can access them when and if you need to?

You're One Step Away from Zen in the Board Room

We step into the zendo* with… the foot nearest the outside edge of the doorway. There is no religious significance to that. If you step in with the other foot, nothing awful is going to happen. Really. But it's a way for you, at that moment, to notice where you are. You can see if your mind is where you are, or if your mind is somewhere else.

- Abbess Zenkei Blanche Hartman

The next time you’re about to enter the board room, a team meeting, a client meeting, or even cross the threshold into your own home after a long day, stop for a moment just outside the door.

Notice where you are. Observe how you feel – tense, anxious, angry, ecstatic, bored, tired, distracted, whatever it is. Name that feeling or those feelings. Then, step away from that moment and into a new one. As you enter the room, intentionally, mindfully, step in – always with the same foot.

This simple, seemingly insignificant act will help you gain focus, practice discipline and step forward with purpose and poise. Go ahead, put your best foot forward.




*A zendo is the meditation room of a Zen monastery.

Conflict – The Cleansing Agent of Relationships

If there were to be one leadership skill that should be required, it is how to engage in conflict. But most of us avoid it like the plague, and rather than face it, we run away, talk to everyone else but the person involved, bury it, or when the going gets tough, blow up at the next person who walks into the office. What is so difficult about dealing with conflict, anyway?

When we ask our clients, may say that they are afraid to hurt the other. But when they really get truthful, they admit to not having the skills, and the perceived risk of engaging in conflict is greater than the benefit. Taking the questions even further, we found that the cost of not engaging in conflict is significant. Here are a few examples:
Creating redundant systems
Developing blanket policies (For example, it is easier to create a dress policy than to address one employee’s poor wardrobe choices)
Avoiding the real issues at staff meetings which generates the reputation of useless meetings
Losing key employees

Many would also say that conflict is not ‘safe’. This is usually true if it is brought forth without skill. Yelling, passive aggression, and sulking are not effective techniques for conflict.

Conflict is the clean burning fuel that keeps relationships honest, healthy, and robust. It takes courage, but the benefit outweighs the cost – if you want to resolve the issue rather than bury the other. Why not give it a try? Here is a simple framework for a conflict conversation:

1. Identify the problem
2. Describe why it is a problem
3. Inquire about the other's perspective
4. Discuss options
5. Decide what to do
6. Commit to future conversations

If you want to learn more, consider engaging one of the Blue Mesa Group coaches. They all have real-life experience with conflict, and can help you find your way.

The Price of Perfection

A good friend of mine was working hard to improve his golf game. His handicap was a 7, and after weeks of practice, it became a 6. The following year, he achieved the enviable status of a 'scratch' golfer - a zero handicap. Ah, perfection!

But as he says, now what? If I go back to a 6 or 7 (which is likely) what does that mean?

Inherently, golf is an imperfect game fraught with variables, foibles and personal challenges. After doggedly pursuing his goal, and achieving the perfection he thought he desired, my friend realized that there wasn’t anything left for him to enjoy. He realized how much he actually hated the game. Hitting the links was like going into battle with an enemy, each game a dragon that needed to be slayed. Everything he once loved about golf had died, and it was no longer an experience in which he could relax, socialize, play.

What’s left once “perfection” is achieved? What’s the cost versus the benefit? Can we really achieve it? And if we do, so what?